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The fashion industry is packed with world-class talent constantly creating historical items which will be adored in years to come, eventually gaining the coveted title of a vintage must-have, no matter how strange or quirky such clothing may seem to us today.

And it just so happens that when it comes to strange and quirky clothing, Portsmouth and Southsea are in luck, with alternative fashion specialists Dress Code of Albert Road well-versed in their vintage fashion, always selling fine and fabulous items honouring the subcultures of old for over 18 years.

Below are some fashion should-nots that slipped past the net, most of which we hope will be extinct before the next one hundreds years of fashion comes around.

1. Jeggings

Jeggings, the imaginatively-creative portmanteau of two words — jeans and leggings. Suck, pull, and squeeze into these denim-coloured calve-casings.


2. Onesies

Ahhh, the Onesie. The all-in-one outfits come in a range of humiliating styles, including animal imitation, day glow, and more on-trend leopard print versions.  It’s romper-suited hell. Apparently it’s even acceptable to wear them while you’re out getting your Primark fix.


3. Double Denim

Can you pull off double denim? In the future we think our ancestors will just assume we were confused. Unless you’re attempting the rebirth of  B*Witched then this trend should be well and truly left in the 80s. Someone got it all wrong when they heard the saying “matchy-matchy”.


4. Crocs

NO! You will be charged by the fashion police with crimes against style. The foam clog appeared on lazy overweight men and women who had hit rock bottom back in 2002.  The shoe had originally been developed as a spa shoe. According to the Sun Newspaper, “Crocs can kill”, which obviously must be the truth.


5. Snapbacks

Snapback is an urban slang term for an adjustable, flat-brimmed baseball cap with snap fasteners on the back. Adorned by rappers, wanabee rappers, and the unoriginal douchebag. If you’re a true brosef, your snapback will have its stickers and shop sale tags still attached in all their glory for future generations to enjoy.


6. Uggs

The slipper, magically transformed into an acceptable form of outdoor footwear. They may be comfy and warm, but the sheepskin material slipper is notoriously smelly. In Australia, where they were invented, ‘Ugg boot’ appears in the dictionary with a little footnote: “Derivation: ugly.”


7. Dungarees

Adapted from the popular mechanic overall and a firm favourite of hillbillies and 80s and 90s boy-band members. Loose-fit legs, square bib front, and those satisfyingly clippy clasps are all imperative.


8. Shell Suits

The descendant of the tracksuit arrived in the late 1980s and was popular with the hip-hop and breakdancing scene of the era. Cover your body in one of the most highly flammable substances know to man. Just in case your life-sized burning body could not be seen clearly enough, manufacturers chose to produce the shell suit in a range of garish and obtrusive day glow colours.


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